winds of change-3

Continued…

Under the streaming hot water she opened herself to the reality and had a great laugh at herself.

Completely drenched with tears which surprised and confused her, she squeezed her eyes shut, and felt his skin against hers.

She felt herself blush.

The speed at which everything moved felt strange and renewed her pain, she winced.

A violent outburst of anger forced her to scratch herself. She believed that this would help her get rid of the pain. The wound still hurts her. Not the physical but the emotional…..

She was punishing herself.

Managing her to the room she was crying, sobbing, the jerky sobs which almost stopped her from breathing. “Was a whole night not worth anything for him , was he ending it right now, has he made up his mind, is he walking out on me….”, all this kept buzzing in her mind.

Thinking all this her feet felt almost dead. Her face was ice-cold, she had on his shirt not the white one (stains of blood could have spoilt it) but the grey one which she had kept in her cupboard as a memoir. She believed in its sedative quality.

She slumped her head against the back of the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling for a while and fell into a doze again.

He grinned at her caressed her, he had his arms around her waist, his touch was so light….she kissed his cheeks…..

Continues..
p.s- you cannot simply force someone to feel a certain way about you.