winds of change-3

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Under the streaming hot water she opened herself to the reality and had a great laugh at herself.
Completely drenched with tears which surprised and confused her, she squeezed her eyes shut, and felt his skin against hers.
She felt herself blush.
The speed at which everything moved felt strange and renewed her pain, she winced.
A violent outburst of anger forced her to scratch herself. She believed that this would help her get rid of the pain. The wound still hurts her. Not the physical but the emotional…..
She was punishing herself.
Managing her to the room she was crying, sobbing, the jerky sobs which almost stopped her from breathing. “Was a whole night not worth anything for him , was he ending it right now, has he made up his mind, is he walking out on me….”, all this kept buzzing in her mind.
Thinking all this her feet felt almost dead. Her face was ice-cold, she had on his shirt not the white one (stains of blood could have spoilt it) but the grey one which she had kept in her cupboard as a memoir. She believed in its sedative quality.
She slumped her head against the back of the bed, staring blindly at the ceiling for a while and fell into a doze again.
He grinned at her caressed her, he had his arms around her waist, his touch was so light….she kissed his cheeks…..

p.s- you cannot simply force someone to feel a certain way about you.


  1. PULKIT said...:

    she should have known the consequences of the addiction she embraced.
    she should have known how love is a drug, how it makes u high, how it starts with the curiosity of consuming it, and later consumes you in the process itself. How it starts with minor doses, then partial acceptance, then belonging, then giving oneself in its control, then deprived of it...then begging to the one who was the source supplier of it, then humiliating yourself to the one in trying to get it from the source somehow...and then destroying one's own self...when in the end one does not get it....
    she should have known
    she should have known
    she should have known
    why am I crying now?

  1. PULKIT said...:

    I forgot u tell u, I reopened the page to check if this is tagged as autobiographical or not? I am glad its now :'( so so happy to see that sis.
    but this isn't fiction...for sure so ultimately the tagging is not justified. As I always write... somebody's fiction is someone's reality

  1. virendra said...:

    this really the loneliness n pain of love can deeply drag someone..into the dark.....
    i hope she'll get rid of this soon...

    ....well frm the writing point of view...its really amazing..coz while reading can easily imagine a its happening right here..

  1. The last line, was it a dream?
    Nice one, looking forward for the next part and how the story turns.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  1. anushree said...:

    yes she should have known....very well destroys reality in the same way as drugs and thats the point of it...and yes i remember somebody's fiction is someone's reality...
    keep reading!

  1. anushree said...:

    #Blasphemous Aesthete

    yes it was a dream,can say hallucination..
    thanks for reading..
    m glad u are liking my work..till the time i post the next part take care.

  1. anushree said...:

    # virendra
    thanks a lot for the kind words..dreams are nursed in darkness...